Patient A. Her sweating palms clutched the hand of the bathroom door as she barreled into the stall, bringing along with her, her coworker.
“I need you to come into the bathroom with me, because if I faint in there I don’t want someone to discover me passed out on the floor,” she whispered as her co worker helped her into the restroom, the door slamming shut behind her. Her mind was fuzzy, head in circles as the dizziness overcame her. Feeling slightly improved, she made her way slowly back to her desk, but the symptoms weren’t vanishing, they remained constant, the dizzy spells fluctuating in and out of her head. The paramedics were called. Flashing lights, people crowding about her. A nurse informed her that her white blood cell count was increasing and greatly above the normal count. And so she discovered that she had non Hodgkin’s disease. A had cancer.
Bloomfield, PA was the birthplace of A, where she was raised and where she remained for the entirety of her life. A sister, Linda was who she was given as company and her mother and father emerged their family into the life of religion, the life of faith and hope. As Roman Catholics, A and her family attended mass every Sunday, her father in attendance more often than not. And it was her father who also acquired cancer, non Hodgkin’s disease. She grew up in close contact with her grandma who resided in a home adjacent to hers. Cousins and friends were constantly surrounding her and she became close with her neighborhood acquaintances, one of them becoming a doctor, Dr. May.
A and her friend Carol attended church, and while sitting in the sacristy, Carol’s plush little white dog hopped next to A, its fur rubbing against her. Since this was out of the ordinary, A was confused and asked what the diminutive dog wanted from her. A week later she was diagnosed with cancer. And when she returned to the church 6 months later, the little white dog refused to sit next to her. A day later she received news that her cancer had disappeared.
And it was Dr. May who when he discovered the cancer in A, as she cried just once thinking of her fate, said,
“A, if you could have any type of cancer, this is the best one you could get.” And with these words, A became hopeful and failed to go through the normal stages of emotional distraught that most cancer patients undergo. Depression- not an issue. Loss of hope- not an issue. Everything that she believed in came from her religious scruples and she truly had trust in God that he would deal with the situation and there was no need for her to worry over something that was out of her direct control.
Dr. May gave her Rituxan and she began to shake and shiver, her appearance looking like ET in the basket; blankets were sprawled all over her and only her face was poking out from under the fabrics. Dr. Islam tiptoed closer to her and A asked him,
“Are you scared?” Dr. Islam replied, “No, are you?” and A nodded contently.
She made her way to the hospital and spent a singular night curled up on the hospital bed, nothing too drastic for what she could handle. She was inserted with benadryl and adderall but the benadryl was the only drug which bothered her knees and therefore she was given adevine to mitigate those symptoms as well.
When she arrived at Mellon Bank the following work day, her coworker beckoned for her to come into the next room because she needed assistance with a faulty light. A followed, but was specious of the situation and rightfully so, because as she entered the room, what she saw was a group of her coworkers sitting around a table and in the center an envelope with money stuffed into it. They realized that A needed help and did their best to resolve her issue with their financial and emotional support. However not everyone at work was as sympathetic. Her boss was not very flexible, making it clear that no work was to be missed; it was A’s 25th anniversary with the bank so her vacation times were utilized for the time missed during treatment. And there finally came a time when she was fired from her stable job at the bank. But it was in her nature to persevere, to continue her struggle for normalcy and so she began working again at Ducane.
“Be careful you don’t get hit by a bus.” These words spoken by a random guy on the street were the nine words A remembered best when it came to her fate. Because it was true. There could be so many things and events that could occur that could end one’s life, and to A, cancer was simply one of them. She shouldn’t be worried about something that was fate, that was destiny and that she had absolutely zero control over. And in this way A was special. She did not go through the “normal” stages of cancer in her emotional realm. It was simply in the hands of God.
While receiving chemotherapy, A and her sister Linda realized that the only hair that was exiting her head was the dark colored strands, but that the white ones remained in tact. It was miraculous in the fact that her hair was not completely removed through the treatment and this was only a singular event in which her good fortune was displayed. However death was an immense segment of A’s life and that was where her fortune halted temporarily.
She was living with her friend Carol, whose minuscule white dog had involuntarily predicted her cancer because Carol was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. She resided there for seven months, but was forced to move out because while walking from the house, she tripped on the curb and got a hernia. Linda and A lived there as Carol made her way to the hospital and eventually to her grave. Yet even through the death of her friend, she was able to maintain her sanguine attitude.
One afternoon as they were receiving their treatment a woman was yelling towards the other patients around her, “They’re putting poison in us,” continuing to bark these hollow truths/lies. Chemotherapy was a form of putting poison into the body, yet it was for the benefit of the patient. A became irritated with the ungratefulness and simply the ignorance of the woman next to her so she made her way to the nurses and explained that they needed to put an end to her speech.
“These people are scared enough, they don’t need another person scaring them,” she stated. And these sorts of little talks and lessons portrayed the true disposition of A and how she truly held her faith and hope in God and that the poison that was being injected into them would eventually bring them survival and ultimately life.
A was diagnosed with cancer in June of 2007. She was free of it December of that same year. Her ephemeral cancer brought her more faith in God and with it she realized the beneficence of doctors and medicine in general and in the true good work of God.
lifeofcancer 